The Fields of Elysium
by Thalia Full of Grace
Summary: Thalia is suffering from the loss of Luke. In order for her to make amends to him she is sent upon a quest to Elysium to find him & end her grief. In the process Thalia must face her past in order to move on to the future.
1. I Torture Myself With Memories

**_We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love — first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage. - Albert Camus_**

**_There cannot be love without suffering in one form or another. - Ema Hathaway_**

Why am I still crying? I can't help, but ask myself this question. I keep telling myself I never loved him at all, but I know that I'm lying. Why would I have sacrificed myself all those years ago if I had never loved him? So many questions and too few answers have become to plague me. I've begun to recoil from everything that reminds me of him or the night of August 18th.

I've been thinking about Luke so much lately that I'm surprised Lady Artemis hasn't thrown me from the Hunters. I see how all the other Hunters and the other demigods look at me with their eyes filled with pity. But not one of them has a word to say to me. Not even Annabeth, who loved him almost as much as I did. Part of me wishes fervently that someone anyone would ask me how I feel. I know I put on a good show, but I'm not fooling everyone. My facade is cracking oh so slowly and I fear the consequences it may bring.

I have currently banished myself to my father's cabin at Camp Half-Blood. The Hunters have decided to stay for a while and hunt in their woods that are stocked with all kinds of creatures. For a week and a half I have tortured myself with Luke's memory. I wish that I'd been there when he died. I wish I could have held his hand while he died and told him how sorry I was for everything. Artemis will never have to worry about me falling in love, because the only person who had my heart is now in the Underworld among the dead.

"Thalia?" I looked over to the door way of the cabin, Percy stood there, blocking it. I sat up and realized I must look awful in my ratty old Green Day t-shirt and worn black jeans.

"Hey, Seaweed Brain," I said half heatedly. I couldn't quite muster up a smile, because if I did I was sure I'd cry and there was no way I was going to let Percy see me cry.

"Annabeth sent me to check on you. Are you alright?" Percy looked like he was ready to flee from me. Although I don't blame him I probably looked like a wounded animal, hurt, but still dangerous.

"Do I look okay Percy? Really, do I look fine to you? I haven't slept in a week. And all I can think about is...." So much for not crying in front of Percy. The tears came pouring down my cheeks and onto the sheets covering my bed.

"I'm sorry, Thalia. We all lost Luke and we all feel awful, but we've got to move on." This was a side of Percy I'd never seen before. He seemed softer and more sympathetic.

"You didn't abandon him. You didn't leave him like I did. If I'd never died he might not have joined up with Kronos. I would have never joined the Hunters and he would be here with me." My rage was as hollow as my heart and instead of yelling like I wanted to, I just sobbed. I knew everything that came out of my mouth was nonsense. You can't cheat destiny.

"Ummm..." Percy had just elicited the typical male response to everything. "There's one more thing I had to tell you, Artemis wants to see you." This I'm sure would be my death. What use was a love sick lieutenant anyway? I wasn't supposed to fall in love, but then I was in love when I joined. I hoped whatever punishment she had in store that it was a mild one.

Percy lead me to the big house in silence. There awaiting me was Artemis. In appearance she looked younger than I, but the air she held was an ancient one. She smiled down upon me as I left Percy at the stairs and ascended them. Her smile was one of pity, even her eyes reflected the pity she felt for me. "My dear Thalia, what has become of you?" It was more of a question for herself than it was for me. "I had a talk with our father about you and how you are dealing with the grief of losing the Castellan boy." I was afraid of where this was headed. They where going to have me killed. I was sure of it. "You are to be sent on a quest that will end your suffering and bring you closure."

"What?" I had to say I did not see this one coming. A quest? What quest could possibly end my grief and suffering?

"You are to travel to the fields of Elysium and seek out Luke Castellan." My breath caught in my throat and joy flooded through me.

"He made it to Elysium?" Tears threatened to pour from their ducts. I had hoped and prayed he'd made it to Elysium, because after all he'd been through he deserved it. Artemis brushed her hand across my cheek affectionately.

"Yes, my little lieutenant, he made it to Elysium."

"I thought you had called upon me so you could kill me." I adverted my eyes from her gaze. I just couldn't bare to look at what I saw there.

"Thalia, I knew the day you joined the Hunters you would never completely be over Luke Castellan. You loved him enough to die for him and when you joined us you loved him enough to let him go. But, I understand letting go is not easy and you are the only one who has not made your peace with his passing. Do not be afraid you've angered me, for you have not. I just would like to see you unburdened and so would our father, Zeus." I leaned my hip against the porch railing, taking in the words she said. Her tone was careful, as if she was trying to find words that wouldn't upset me.

"So I haven't disgraced you?" Disgracing Artemis had been one of my worst fears since I'd joined the Hunters.

"There is nothing disgraceful about loving someone. You had a choice, Thalia and you chose the Hunters. Go child, you are to leave out at first light tomorrow. I assume you'll bring two other people with you." Something inside me told me I shouldn't take another soul with me. This was my burden, my grief and I will end it alone.

"No. This is something I'm better off doing alone." With that I left Artemis be and returned to my cabin. I packed my black leather bag in silence. As I did this I thought back to an earlier time, a time when there was hope to be had.

"Don't you ever call me that again, Luke Castellan!" I yelled, my blue eyes shining ready for the verbal battle that would ensue.

"Whatever you say...Thali." I put my hands on my hips and looked up at Luke, studying his handsome youthful face. I hated that nickname. Who would even allow someone to call them Thali? I heard thunder crackling in the distance. That happened from time to time when I got worked up.

"Whoa, calm down Thalia. It was just a joke no need to ruin a tree like the last," he said referencing to the time I caused lightning to hit a tree unintentionally. Luke placed his hands upon my shoulders and his blue eyes bore into my own. Then something changed suddenly. It was as if this moment would shape the entirety of my life. I saw the same realization in his eyes as well. Luke's lips brushed my own, sending shock waves of pleasure through my body. It was as if the lightning had entered my body and was crackling around inside my veins.

Back then I wasn't much of a daydreamer, but Luke seemed to inspire the very few I had. I could almost see the little blue eyed baby girl dressed in black, who looked like a mix of both Luke and I. It was so sappy that I wanted to vomit, but it made me feel warm and like the whole ordeal had a purpose. That nothing could touch what Luke and I had. That no matter what happened he'd be there. At the time I was 12 and he was 14. We'd both made promises to one another we knew we couldn't keep. The things that hurts the most was I kept the promises I could and Luke didn't.

A knock at the door broke me from my reverie. "Thalia?" I turned to see Annabeth, the other member of mine and Luke's make shift family. She glowed with the promise of being a great woman. "I heard about the quest. I just thought I'd come and wish you luck." Annabeth looked around the room, like she didn't know what to say. She fiddled with something in her hand, before holding it out to me. "I thought you'd want to have this. It was Luke's." I took the object from Annabeth's hand and observed it. It was Luke's necklace from camp. I had no idea how she had come to possess this and I don't think I wanted to know.

"Thank you," I whispered as I secured the necklace around my neck.


	2. Aphrodite Pays Me a Visit

Thanks to all those who've read so far! Reviews are greatly appreciated. :)

**_True love burns the brightest, but the brightest flames leave the deepest scars. - Anon._**

I didn't go see Rachel Dare for a prophecy. The girl scared me to death. Looking at her I couldn't help, but think about May Castellan, Luke's mother. I had only met her once and the meeting was scarred upon my brain. For all I knew May still thought Luke was alive. Sometimes I wished I lived in such peaceful oblivious insanity as she did. I thought maybe one day that I'd visit her. She may not have been capable to have been a good mother to Luke, but she did love him. I can't say that about my own mother. She had loved the alcohol more than she had me.

The good thing about being the daughter of sky god was you flew first class to your desired destination and didn't run the risk of getting blasted out of the sky.....like Percy. I had gotten a seat close to the aisle thank the gods. I don't know if I could take actually having a window seat. Heights put me on edge to say the least.

The lady seat next to me had her head buried into the latest issue of _Cosmopolitan._I couldn't help, but wrinkle my nose at this high priced was wearing a soft pink floor length gown with a slit up the side that exposed a pair of perfect tan legs. Her feet were clad with what I think are Jimmy Choos, but don''t ask me because all I really know are boots. "Thalia Grace," she said as I sat down in my seat. My temper flared. I hated it when people called me by my mother's last name.

"Yes?" I replied as calmly as I could muster. I was practically shaking with anger and had to grip the arm rest for support. The lady put down her issue of _Cosmo_ to reveal that she was none other than Aphrodite, the goddess of love. Aphrodite was gorgeous to the point words didn't even do her beauty justice. I couldn't help, but gape at her, wondering why she was here. "Aphrodite?"

"Who else? Hopefully you don't know someone who is more beautiful than myself." Conceited much? I was instantly glad that she wasn't privy to my thoughts.

"Why are you here?" I kept my tone civil and conversational, despite the fact I was perplexed by the whole situation. My brow furrowed coming up with multiple reasons as to why I had gained an audience with the goddess of love.

"I've come to let you know that you have my favor on this quest." Aphrodite let out a giggle, as if my question was the funniest thing she'd ever heard.

"Why?" I felt very stupid asking all these questions, but I was really lost. I mean, c'mon, Aphrodite helping a Hunter of Artemis on a quest? This was about as crazy as Zeus, Poseidon and Hades sitting around a camp singing Kumbaya.

"Oh please, you're not _that _dense. You and Luke are the best tragic romance I've seen in years. Shakespeare himself couldn't even have wrote a better story than this. Hephaestus is even doing a special about you two on Hephaestus T.V." Aphrodite's perfect pouty lip curled up in disgust when she mentioned Hephaestus, but other than that she acted excited. "Believe me if I had had it my way you and Luke would have been the most successful demigod couple ever, but the Fates tend to ruin everything." She sighed and I took it the Fates thwarted her perfect plans alot.

I'd never thought of my life as a grand tragic love story, but when I looked back on it I suppose it was. We both fit the parts to a T. Luke in the role of the beautiful doomed hero and me in the role of the girl who couldn't save him.

"Luke, you have to go with Grover and Annabeth, it's your only choice." I looked back at him, knowing what would happen to the both of us if he didn't go across the boundary line. "If you don't go we'll both die. Annabeth needs you Luke." I felt the tears seeping from my eyes and streaming down my cheeks.

"I'm not leaving you, Thalia. I promised you I wouldn't leave you," Luke said his voice filled with a passionate stubbornness. His feet where firmly planted in a stance that screamed, 'I'm not going.'

"I'll be fine," I lied. I would have said anything to have got him to go over that line. I would have said anything to have kept him safe and alive. "I love you, Luke. Please just do this one thing for me." A conflicted expression flitted across Luke's features and he nodded one quick curt nod.

"You better come back to me," his voice was low and gruff sounding.

"I will. Don't worry about that. I'll come back one way or another." At that point I didn't know how true that statement was. He planted a rough kiss on my lips and ran to where Annabeth and Grover where standing across the line.

I had to force myself back into the here and now. "You're fate was entwined with Luke's before you two where even born. So romantic isn't it? He was your Adonis. I think I'm going to cry." Aphrodite wiped at her eyes a little and I had to refrain from laughing. Aphrodite was just so over dramatic. "Well, I should be on my way. Hephaestus gets all bent out of shape if I'm gone for a long time." She rolled her eyes when she mentioned her husband which she blatantly despised. I adverted my eyes so Aphrodite could take her true form and leave me be.

I sat there for a great deal after our conversation thinking about Luke. About how he was there when I died and I wasn't there when he did.

"Thalia!" I heard a panicked scream break through the silence. My vision blurred and I felt blood seeping from a wound in my chest. I tried to move, but that only brought on more pain. My breaths where becoming laboured and I figured I only had minutes left. This was the end, I'd let Luke down. I heard the steady beats of horse hooves followed by some human foot steps. I groaned, the pain seemed to be getting worse and worse. There where so many monsters that had been on me I didn' know which one struck what would be my fatal blow. I felt someone gently raise my head up into their lap and begin to brush my short black hair out of my face. Whoever it was, was crying. They let out pained sobs and shook so hard it reverberated through my body causing the pain to become near unbearable. I knew who this person was, but I didn't want to think about who it was. "Thalia come back to me," Luke said. He sounded so broken and pitiful.

"Luke," I rasped. The effort it took to speak caused me to start coughing raucously, bringing up blood.

"Shhhh.... You're going to fine, just fine." I felt Luke's tears splash against my face mingling with my own. He planted a soft kiss on my forehead and continued to sob. I knew the exact moment my heart stopped beating, because I was engulfed in a blackness unlike any other.

They say you can hear for a few minutes after your death. I'll tell you that is most assuredly true. "She's gone, Luke." Came the voice of an older man. The voice sounded wise and kind, like the voice of a most beloved mentor.

"She can't be gone. She can't this is Thalia we're talking about," Luke sobbed, shaking my body trying to rouse a response out of my lifeless corpse. I heard the unmistakable sniffle of Annabeth. "Get Annabeth out of here. Better yet, why don't you all just leave us alone."

"Luke, I'm not sure if that's the best...." Luke cut off the older man.

"Just leave us alone," Luke screamed. I'd never heard him sound so angry before. "I just want to be with her for a few more minutes. Please, Chiron, that's all I'm asking."

"Very well then. Grover take Annabeth and get her situated. It's been a hard day for all of us." I heard them head back to camp leaving Luke holding my dead body.

"Thalia, I'm sorry. I promise, I'll find a way to bring you back to me. I love you. I never knew what it meant to have a family before you."

I felt someone shake my shoulder breaking my train of thought. It was a lovely blonde stewardess. "Are you okay, sweetie? Do you need me to get you anything?" Up until then, I hadn't realized I was crying.


	3. The Three Things I Must Know

Sorry I didn't get this to you guys sooner. Better late than never right? Thanks so much for all the great comments and reviews!!!! :) - Thalia

_**In the act of loving someone you arm them against you. - Anon.**_

_**When you love someone, you took a risk of breaking your heart. - Anon**_.

I had dreamed of what my reunion with Luke would be like. In reality it was nothing like my dreams. To say it was chaotic would have been an understatement. If I could have went back to that moment I would have. I regret so much, it's not even funny. Life should come with a rewind button, but alas it doesn't. I had kicked the love of my life off a cliff.

I'd be lying if I said making my way down the streets of L.A. where the easiest thing I'd ever done. It seemed like everything reminded me of my happy childhood. I swear I could almost hear the clink of ice in a glass and my mother's drunken laugh. The memories of all those nights I had to deal with her alcoholic rage sent chills down my spine. I had fled this city to be away from _her_. The woman who had given birth to me, the woman who hadn't wanted me at all.

I head the door bang open and knew that it was her coming home after a long night of partying. Her wicked witch like laugh reverberated off the walls of the apartment. "Thalia!" I flinched at the sound of my name, but after a minute or so I reluctantly got up from my window seat, gently laying down the book I'd been reading. On my way to the living room I caught a glimpse of myself in the hall mirror. A huge bruise covered my left eye from the last time she wanted to punish me for being alive. I often wondered why she didn't just abort me or put me up for adoption if she loathed me so much.

"Yes?" I felt so timid and weak. I hated it. I hated her. I took in the sight of my mother. She had been gorgeous once, but the effects of the liquor had muted her beauty. She cackled at the sight of me.

"Thalia!" Someone called my name breaking my horrible reverie. I searched frantically for whoever had called my name. My eyes came to rest upon a beautiful young woman. Her hair was dark brown and fell in perfect waves. Her eyes where a light green color that reminded me of grass. Her beauty rivaled that of Aphrodite's. I knew instantly she wasn't human, but a goddess. The lady beckoned me towards her and I obeyed, bridging the gap between us with a few long strides. "Thalia, daughter of Zeus you've kept me waiting." Then it hit me who this was. I had seen her before when I visited Olympus.

"I'm sorry, Ariadne. I honestly didn't know you where waiting for me." I stopped puzzled by why she was waiting for. "Why _are_you waiting for me?" Ariadne let out a heartbreakingly melodic laugh. She looked to be no more than 17. Dressed in the latest fashion she could have been mistaken for a teen starlet.

"You mean Dionysus didn't tell you? Oh, what am I kidding of course he didn't tell you. If I didn't love him so much I'd kill. But you know what that's like dear." Ariadne waved her hand like I knew exactly what she was talking about, when in fact I didn't.

"Ummmm....I do?" I stammered trying my hardest to figure out what she meant.

"Honey, you're not the only one who had a guy they loved leave you high and dry." Theseus. Luke was my Theseus was what she was getting at. The look on my face must have betrayed me, because she had a look of satisfaction on hers. "I wonder at times if it's ever safe to love a hero. Luke wasn't fickle like Theseus was." I was as of now extremely confused. I found Luke very fickle now that he was gone. He never really figured out which side he was on.

"You're wrong. Luke was fickle. I was stupid to love him," I said bitterly. I seriously didn't know what she was getting at. When we first started the heinous converstation I thought Ariadne was sweet, but now she was starting to prove annoying. "Can we get to the point?" I crossed my arms over my chest and tapped my foot waiting for her reply.

"I'm here to prepare you for what you're about to do. You need to know three things about Luke before you go to the Underworld." Was she kidding me? I knew everything there was to know about Luke......or at least I used to.

"Why did they send you?" I couldn't get why anyone would send _Ariadne_ to tell me something. She was Dionysus' wife and nothing more.

"Because I've been hurt too. Believe it or not Thalia some wounds just don't heal. I have a feeling you'll learn this. You may gain the closure you seek, but the ache will continue to be there. It will dull over time, but it will never go away," Ariadne said patiently. Suddenly I felt awful for acting like a brat. She really did understand what I was going through. Theseus left her on an island, he broke her heart much like Luke had mine.

"Go ahead," I whispered. Tears began to pool in my eyes. I will not cry here, not in the middle of L.A, not in front of all these people.

"You know how you have to have something to keep you anchored to this world when you bathe in the river Styx?" I nodded and wiped at my eyes hoping to get rid of any sort of moisture. Thank the gods I decided against wearing make-up. Percy had told me about how he thought of Annabeth when he had taken a dip in the Styx and had made a few speculations as to what Luke had thought of. "Luke thought of you. His vision was much like that of Percy's. You where waiting for him on the shore. You don't know how bad he wanted you to actually be there." This was killing me. Was I really the thing that kept him anchored to this world? Tears began to threaten me once more, but I held them back. I had to be strong. "You where the last thought on his mind. He only had one true regret and that was leaving you on Half-Blood Hill." Ariadne's voice had taken on a wistful sort of tone. A thoughtful look came across her face.

"What's the third thing?" Something inside me told me that the third thing would be the hardest for me to grasp. I knew this thing would cut me to the core.

"You're the reason he joined up with Kronos. You where what Kronos promised him."


End file.
